sillygirl27's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Loss of Emotions I can very easily remove all emotions from a relationship. I, unlike many women, can think like a man. I choose not to at times. This is not one of those times. I like him a lot, too much, which is why I have chosen to distance myself from him. I'm glad he told me about her, it just makes it easier for me to remove myself. He thinks it will be different when I get there, but I am not counting on it. I am not moving there for him. I think when I told him I didn't think things would be different, I shocked him. I think he was expecting me to say that I hoped things would work out for us but instead I just said "I doubt it". I do not want to live my life with regret, so after he told me about her, I told him about Erik and how I had lied to him when I said I had not been with him. I told him that yes I was jealous, but I'm not. I have very few friends, but the ones I do have, I tend to be very protective of. I need to change this I know. I feel much better getting that off my chest and I think the wierdness is gone now. I regret only one thing, that I have been with Erik. I was trying to fill a void and I realize that now. I enjoy being single and will probably never be married again. Too much baggage and stress comes with that. I like the idea of having just one person, but not the actual process of being with only one person. I get bored very easily. I care so much for him and don't want him to get hurt either. I would never be with someone that didn't find me physically attractive, which is what he told me she said about him. He then said he thought of that as a challenge. But I know how women think....Is it possible she said that to make him think she wasn't interested? Because guys do have egos and they don't like them to get hurt. They have to prove something when their ego has been trampled....ALL WOMEN KNOW THIS. She isn't stupid. I hope she isn't playing mind games with him. I am not his girlfriend, so I have no say, but I still love him as a person and care about his feelings. He has been hurt by women and this wouldn't do if another hurt him. Women can be such bitches...... 2:27 pm - Wednesday, Oct. 20, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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